Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Urdu Funny Sms

Bhai Log!!!

Ghajini dekhne k baad mujhe andaza hua hai k Aapka Bhai bhi AAMIR KHAN se kuch kam nahi hai.

Main bhi parhta hon,
Samajhta hon.


Phir 15 minute k baad sab bhool jata hon.
_______________________
Ab Bush ke baad Obama

Zara sambhal ke Qadam rakhna Iraq me Obama

Bush ko pare hai joote

Tera to utar dein ge Pajama.
_______________________
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,

Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?

Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only.
_______________________
Teacher: Main teri Maa Hoti Tou Main Tujhy 2 Din Main Sudhaar Deti ...

Pathan: Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Sy Mashwara Kar k Bata Doonga ... ;->

_______________________
Sardar goes 2 Gulabo's home and knocks the door.

Gulabo: Kon?

Sardar: Mein!

Gulabo: Mein kon?

Sardar: Tu Gulabo hor kon!!!
_______________________
Boy: Challte Chalte Yunhi Ruk Jata Hoon Main Bethe Bethe Yunhi Kho Jata Hoon Main Kya Ye Hi Pyaar Hai . . .???

Girl: Nahi Ye Kamzori Hy Subha Shaam Glucose Piya Karo . .
_________________
Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom machal jata haiSara badan kaamp jata haiDil main gudgudi hoti haiStupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai
_________________
1980 girls: Mom mei Jeans pehanungi
Mom : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?

Todays girls: Mom mein mini skirt pehanungi

Mom: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
__________________
BHIKARI: Saab Rs.6 dedo chai pini he
MAN: kyo? chai to 3 ki hoti hai.
Bikhari: Saath me giflfriend b hai
Men: Bhikari hokar b giflfriend banali?
Bikhari: Na saab. giflfriend ne bhikari bana diya.
__________________
What is difference between Watch and Wife?
Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.
__________________
Ek Student Dusre Se:
Aaj Kuch Khatarnak Kaam Karne Ka Maan Kar Raha Hai
2nd Student: To Phir Chal Kar Thori Parhai Karte Hein . .
__________________
eik admi ko eik bottle mili us ne us bottle ko khola to ander se eik jin nikla
jin:hukam mery aka
aka:mujhy london se lay ker pakistan tek eik bridge bana ker do
jin:aka hukam kerny ko bola hai bakwas kerny ko nai
__________________
Sardar sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala Mahaan, padhnewala Gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala Gadha, padhnewala Mahaan
____________________
Husbnd: tm se shadi kr k mjhe ek faayeda tou hua hy,
wife: konsa? Husbnd: mjhe apne sare gunahoun ki saza dunia me he mil gaie.
____________________
Sardar: Oye Yaar! agar electricity nahi hoti to kya hota?
Santa: Kuch nahi yaar, hame candle light me T.V dekhna padta…
____________________
Wife Husband Se : Woh dekho ladka mujhe smile de raha hai....
Husband : Smile nahi de raha jab maine tmhe pehli baar dekha tha to mere bhi hansi nikal gaye thii.....
____________________
Bengali patient: Doctor sahab,
potla-potla totti aata hai,
khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doctor: Yeh lo dawai,
mota-mota totti aayega,
jaise marzi kaat ke khana
_____________________
Sunny: Kal movie dekhi,

usme na koi scene tha,

na koi aawaz.
Bunny: Naam kya tha film ka.

Sunny: NO DISC
___________________
Teacher: is line ki English banao,
"usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya"
Sardar: He done his work and Done Dana Dan Done Dana Dan...
___________________
Beta: Papa apki shadi ho gai?
Papa: Yes.Beta: kis se?
Papa: apki mama se.
Beta: aap to bade hi chalak nikley ghar mai hi chakkar chala liya !
___________________
Aik doctor apne dost se:
“yar mai soch raha hon k is gaon main apna clinic khol lon.
Dost:”tumhara khyal to naik hy magar yahan ka qabristan chota hai.
___________________
Santa Singh, zebra crossing ki black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalta tha,
woh kya soch raha hoga....think....... ?"



SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KiYON NAHI"
___________________
Lady Dr: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khare hokar aurtoon ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Circuit: Bai ji aapich wahan likha na - Aurton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am.
___________________
Zindagi Mein Tum Bohat Aage Jaaoogay,
Kyonkay Jahan Bhi Tum Jaooge
Sab Kahaingay,



Chal be Chal Aagay Chal !!!!
___________________
" I MISS U"



Dil karta hai har pathar pe likhon
I MISS U,

or wo har pathar
apko maroon

...

ta k apko ye ehsas to ho

kay apki yaad mai kitna dard hai !!!
____________________
Memon to his Son: Beta shadi k din susral walay ghari dein tu suit mang lena.Scooter dein tu car mang lena,dokan dien tu ghar.Beta: Dad larki dein to uski maa mang lon?
_____________________
3 sardars were going on a motorcycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop....
sardar shouted : Oye Pagal hai kya tu teen pehle hi bahite hain tu kahan bhaite ga....
____________________
Judge Mujrim se: Tum teesri baar adaalat main aa rahy ho,
Tumhain sharam nahi aati?
Mujrim: ha ha ha haTum roz aatay ho tumko aati hai kya?
____________________

Ek Sardar doctor k pass gaya or bola k ghar ja ker mareez check karnay k kitnay pesay logay?Doctor : 300 rs.
Sardar : chlain doctor sahab.

Ghar puhanchay to docor ne pocha k mareez kahan hai?

Sardar: mareez koi nahi hai,Taxi wala 500 mang raha tha.
_________________

Dad: Beta Is Bar Exam Main Tujhe 90% Lane Hyn. Kuch bhi kar Ke.

Son: Nahi Dad, Me Tou Is Bar 100% Launga!

Dad: Q Mazaq Kar Raha Hai?

Son: Shuroo Kis Ne Kia? ... hahahahaa
____________________

Man : oye tera ek dant neela kaisey ho gia?

Sardar : Yaar mein ney ink lagayi hai.

Man : Woh kiyoun?

Sardar : Kyon k aaj kal blue tooth ka jamana hai yaar !!!
_______________
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha charta hai.

Paani mein Rum milao to nasha charta hai.

Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha charta hai.


Saala paani mein hi koi burai hai. !!!!
_______________
You are a DOG…
D = Darling


O = Of

G = Girls

Now u r smiling na?
Am i right??

Tu sach mein kutta hai.
______________
Mil gaya oye mil gaya Arey wah woh to

mujhey

mil gaya

yes

yes
yes

Akhirkar

mujhe

mera

sms

parhney

wala

bevkuf


milgaya!!!
________________
Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
_______________
Biryani khaney ki nyat!!Mein nyat kerta hoin 4 plate biryani ki, vastey 15,20 boti k, bama zarda raita aur salad k . Muon mera deigh ki taraf Bismillah.............
_______________
2 sardaroin ko 2 bomb milay1 sardar:Chal police ko dey detey hain.2 sardar:Agar koi bomb rastey mein phat gia to?1 sardar:jhot bol dain gey k aik hi mila tha!!!
_______________

An elephant falls in love with an ant but ant'sparents r against their marriage........
guess y?........

They gave a solid reason........


"Larkay k daant bahar hain".................

______________
Ek aadmi kabar par betha tha.Musafir ne pucha, dar nahi lagta ?Aadmi:darne ki kya baat hai ….?Ander garmi lag rahi thi to bahar aa gaya….!!!!
______________
A young girl asked a Maulvigirl: Can i luv a man ? Maulvi: Astaghfirullahgirl: can i luv a boy?Maulvi : Nauzubillah girl : can i luv you? Maulvi: Bismillah ....
______________
Aik plane nay rocket say pucha“tum itni taizi say kaisay urtay ho?

”ROCKET REPLIED:
“tairay thalay koi agg laway tay pata chalay…”
______________
Kya mamu apun ki yaad vaad nahi aa reli kya? kya apun hi tere ko aisa jhakas msg bhejta rehenga kya? bolo to tu bhi ek-do repchik msg chipka dal!! ______________
Boy:chalo kisi sunsan jahga chaltey haiGirl:tum asi vesi harkat tu nahi karogeyBoy:belkol b nahiGirl: tu pir rehney do janey ka kia faida
______________
MERE SMS MILE?
NAHI MILE TO YE LO
SMS SMS SMS SMS
LO CHOTE SMS
sms sms sms
YE LO REMIX
SmS sMs SmS sMs
STYLISH WALE BHI LO
$M$ $m$ $M$ Bas
ab APKI bari
______________
Mast nazaron se dekh lena tha agar tamanna thi aazmaane ki hum to behosh yoon hi ho jaateykiya zaroorat thi muskuraaney ki ...
_________________
ANDHERI SADAK….SUNSAAN KABRISTAN….SUNI HAVELI…..KALA ASMANBIJLI KADKI…AYA TUFAAN…RAAT HOGAI SUJA SHAITAAN!!
______________
800 kamron ka Mehal ho,
Motiyon se saja ho Darbar,
Income ho Arbon main,
Aur 200 Marcedes Car,
Sab mil sakta hai Sapnon main,
Is liye Jagna hai bekaar,
So ja mere yaar, So ja mere Yaar!

________________
Teacher: Aaj tum late kyu aaye?School 7 baje shuru hota hai.Sardar: Sir! Aap meri fikr mat kia karo,School shuru karwa dia karo!
__________________
Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.But..makhi nahin uri,Sardar ne kaha,Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diyejain to makhi sun nahin sakti
______________________
Dil karta hai keh uss kay nazook hontoon koo chuum loonnnnn
Magar uss kee behteee hooyee naak nay meraa iradaa hee badal diyaaa.
_________________
sardar: meri biwi mujhe chor k chali gayi. freind: tu us ka khyaal nahi rekhta ho ga. sardar:arre yaar sagi behan ki terah rakhta tha
_________________
Agar
Koi
Galti
Ghustakhi
Wagaira
Ho
Gai
Ho
Tu

Plz

.

.

.

.

Mafi maang lo

Me buhat rhm dil hun..
____________________
Ek Memon ko Jin charh gaya,
3 din k baad Jin khud ek Aalim k paas gaya aur bola:
Aalim sahab mujhe bahar nikalo,
main to bhooka he mar jaonga
___________________
Sarcit : Hai Bhai ! Ye Barish Ke Time Par Bijli Kyon Hoti Hai ?
Munnabhai : Are Maamu, Uparwala Dekh Raha Hoga Ki Koi Sukha to Nahi Rahe Gaya Na.
_________________________
A Sardar & his wife were waiting for trainitne main KHYBER MAIL aa gayeSardar bhag k train mein charhaorapni wife se bolajab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
________________________
KBC quiz show may Shahrukh ne mujh se poocha.

“Dunya ka sub se bara gadha kon hai?”

May ne 1 caror gawa dia per tera name nahi bataya….


sachi dosti.. yehi hai :D
______________
Sardar to Girl friend Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar 1 biwi aur 3 bache.
______________
Son to sardar
‘papa…
5+5 kitne hotay hain?
Sardar
‘ullu de pathay,
nalaiq,
Idiot,
Besharam,
Gadhay…
Tujhe kuch nahi ata..
Jaa andar se calculator la.!!
_______________
Is Dil Me Tarane Bahut Hai,
Zindagi Jine Ke Bahane Bahut Hai,
Kis Kis Ko Sms Karun
Kambakht Is Nachiz Ke Deewane Bahut Hai
_______________

Boy Friend:
Kya Tum Meri Salary Main Guzara Kr Logi ? ? ?

Girl Friend:
Main Tou Guzara Ker Loongi Kr Loongi . . . Par Tumhara Kia Ho ga
_______________
Mujhe SMS karo aur pao Bumper prize. 19" TV ka diba, Dubai janey wale jahaz ko TA TA karney ka mauqa,10 lakh wali car ka Photo,ek Dinner wo bhi aap ke ghar....
______________
7 saal pehly meri gf k sary bhai ghar pe rehty thay or date marna imposibl tha!Aj sub aate ki line mai khary rehty hain faraq toh parah hai geo Musharraf
______________
Teacher: tumhari abhi pitae karti ho nakhoon(nails) q nahee katay?
Student: M,m,m,m,miss ma to subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver itni slow drive karta hai k rastay ma he nails bar jatay hai
______________
Unki gali ke chakkar katate katate
Kutte bhi humare yaar ho gaye
Vo toh hamare na ho sake
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye
_______________
pathar se dosti, jaan ko khatra,sardar se dosti, dimaag ko khatra,sarab se dosti, lever ko khatra,humse dosti, waqt bewaqt sms ka khatra
________________
Dosti kro college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali se, Pyar kro dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se
______________
1 Pathan exam dene gaya to sath may PLUMBER ko le kar gya !

kiun?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Because
.
.
Pathan ko information mili thi k paper leak ho gya hai :D
_____________________
http://sms1234.blogspot.com/
Lady Teacher: Bilee key itney sarey bachey kun hotey hain?
Student: Miss agar aap bhi kaprey utar kar bahir ghoomain to aap key us sey bhi ziada hoongey.
_____________________
koi gham nahi magar dil udas hai,tujhse koi rishta nai fir b ek aas hai kehne ko buhat hain apne magr tu ek khas he ZYADA EMOTIONAL NA HONA UPAR SAB BAKWAAS HAI
_____________________

Sardar ji apni behan ke sath ja rahe thae aik admi ne awaz de sardar ji MASHOOQA ke sth kidhar ja rahe ho? Sardar ji ne admi ko aik thuper mara aur bolae mere tu behan hai MAHOOQA ho gi tumhare

____________________
kehtain hain ke ISHQ main nind Urjati haiKehtian hain ke ISHQ main nind urjati haiKoi Ham Say Bhee Ishq Karay Koi Ham Say Bhee Ishq KarayKambakhat Nind Bohot Aati hai !
____________________

Husband: Ye bacha mera ha Wife: Waah G Waah!Bartan mera,Doodh mera,Thorra sa Qattra kye daal dia k sara dahi tera
_____________________
70 Years Old Man : Dil Chaahta Hay Ke Shadi Kar Loon. Friend : Kr Lo Old Man : Kisi Bewa Se Kr Loon? Friend : Kisi Kunwari Se Hi Kar Lo,Bewa Apne Ap Ho Jaegi
____________________

Aurton ki adat hy parda karna


Doosron sy nin apnon sy


Bhla kiun ?

http://sms1234.blogspot.com/

Kahin pehchan na lain!
__________________
Pataane Se Na Pate,Esi Koi
Ladki Nahi.
Agar Fir Bhi Na Pate,To Duniya Me Ladkio Ki Koi Kami Nahi
_________________
Aisa Dostana hamara,
Mai Kashti tu Kinara,
Mai Dhanush tu Teer,
Mai Matar tu Paneer,
Mai Varsha tu Badal,
Mai Hot tu Cool,
Mai April tu…?
__________________
1 admi ne ghalti se bijli ka tar cho lia, wo marne hi wala tha k usi waqt light chali gaye or wo marne se bach gia, us ne khushi se jhoom ker kaha {GEO MUSHARAF}
Ek Bueaty Parlor K Publicity Board Pe Likha Tha..

“Parlor Se Niklne Wali Kisi B Haseen-O-Jameel Larki Ko Na Chairaa Jaye Ho Skta Hai Wo Ap Ki Saas Ho”

___________________

1 charsi eyes donate kerne gaya,
After operation,
Dr. Asks:
Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Charsi:jisko bhi ankhen lagao
use bata dena
ye 2 kash laganay
k baad he khulti hain
__________________
URDU ki ****KITAB****main likha hai
......
.........
............
.................
....................
..........................
...............................
....................................
edhar kia deakh raha hai bola na urdu ki kitab may likha hai..
_________________
Sardar went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
__________________
Itni shiddat se maine degree paane ki koshish ki hai,
k har zarre ne mujhe marks dilaane ki saazish ki hai...
Wo kehte hai na k agar tum dil se kisi subject me pass hona chaho,
to sari kayenaat tumhe pass karwane me lag jati hai..
Ye exams bhi apni hindi filmo ki tarah hote hai,
ant tak sab kuch acha ho hi jata hai Happy Endings.
Aur agar acha nahi hota to exam abhi khatam nahi hua.. Supplementary abhi baki hai mere dost..
___________________
FOOL se,
FOOL ne,
FOOLon ki FOOLwari me,
FOOL ke sath wish kiya,
You are the most
BeautiFOOL,
ColorFOOL &
WonderFOOL among all FOOLS.
____________________
Shaadi aur mobile me kya similarity hai?
Sirf dimag me ek hi sooch aati hai ki,
Thode din aur ruk jata to naya model mil jata
____________________
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!
_____________________
Memon K Ghar Guest Aye

Bivi Ne Kaha.

Jao Mehmano K Liye Kuch Le Kar Aao

Memon Bahar Gaya Aur TAXI Le Aya!
______________________
Chand pe kali ghata to aati to hogi,Sitaaron ko muskurahat aati to hogi.Tum laakh chupao duniya se magar,Akele me tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to hogi...
______________________
___________________

1 Comments:

At May 2, 2009 at 10:45 PM , Blogger Blogger said...

"If i were to describe true love than i wud describe it as what a snowman did to a snow woman, he gave her a warm hug and they both melted in each others arms..."
Visit here:
www.SmsJunk.Com
Thank You

 

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